To Those Who Message(d) Me Privately This Week
Off and on over the years, I have made myself a lightning rod for daring to suggest an Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes. When others insist without sufficient argument (in my not-always-humble opinion) that the particular emperor of the moment is, in fact, clothed, my dogged persistence in proving the truth only calls more electricity to the situation.
Some people love me for it. When introducing me, a long-time activist and friend once said, "We love Melissa because she says what nobody else will."
Just as many people seem to hate me for it. In the twenty years I've lived in Durham, I've had what became public debacles * with my HOA over solar panels, my vegetable garden, and even chalk drawings (made with my children) on my private driveway; * with developers and county commissioners over shrinking the boundaries of already-critically-impaired Jordan Lake for development interests; * with the staff and administration at Lowe's Grove Middle School (and DPS) over the creation (and subsequent sabotage) of a PTA; * with the NC and Durham Soil and Water Conservation District over seriously flawed politics related to the historic administrators of this organization; and, lately, with the controlling forces of a prominent local political action committee.
The above links demonstrate that a substantial number of people perpetually disagree with me - quite vocally, publicly and, in the case of development interests and (some) school admin, powerfully.
That a great many people agree with me is more difficult to ascertain, because the vast majority of these wish to keep their opinions private.
I get it. The first few times I ”put myself out there” left me disheartened and somewhat traumatized. For the sake of my physical and mental well-being, I had to take several big steps back and then bow out altogether.
Durham's not called "gritty" for nothing. Its political climate can get very bully-ish (yes, I used the "b word").
Once, while talking to a stranger from Berkley, California, about how contentious everything seemed to be in Durham, he reminded me that yelling is still communicating, which was more than he could say for most places.
It means a lot to me when people drop me a private message to shine their light on a situation I'm involved in, even when that light shines only for me. Those messages keep me above self-confidence-dissolving tactics that otherwise make me question my own sanity :-) .
It means just as much when someone sends me a kind reminder that I may have been reactionary or gone too far. No one is perfect, particularly when our emotions are involved.
No matter how things play out in this lifetime we are sharing, we are all in it together. We can learn a lot from each other if we just open our hearts and minds.
Sincerely,
Melissa (Rooney)
